Comments on: A new type of joke: the Burnsie. You heard it here first

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:56:02 +0000

Q: How do you become a famous hag?
A: Sit on a cosmetic surgeon’s table until your Joan Rivers.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:52:32 +0000

Q: How do you become a famously irritating singer?
A: Sit on a tack until your Tommy Tunes.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:48:25 +0000

Q: How do you become a famous Senator?
A: Sit in Maine until your Olympia Snowes.

(What can I say? I’m on a role.)

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:39:23 +0000

Q: How do you take care of a famous erection?
A: Have sex until your Hugh Downs.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:31:08 +0000

Q: How do you become a famous comedian?
A: Sit in skinny jeans until your Tommy Smothers.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:11:22 +0000

Q: How do you become an outrageous homosexual?
A: Bake slowly until your Quentin Crisps.

By: Alice

Alice — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:57:24 +0000

Q: How do you become PM of England?
A: Sit on the back burner until your gordon browns.

By: Dave

Dave — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 05:25:51 +0000

How would scorching your genitals make you a poet? Something about suffering for your art? Your father was having you on, I think.

By: Michael

Michael — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:45:20 +0000

There’s a similar thing here in the U.S., called “Tom Swifties,” named after the exuberant writing style of The Adventures of Tom Swift, an early 20th century science-fiction action hero in books for children.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swifty

By: Tom

Tom — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:14:52 +0000

Original version of that second one:
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven till it’s Bill Withers.

Not a Burnsie, though, because it makes sense all the way through.