HP Sauce: A Septic's Primer

[davec]

HP Sauce: A Septic's Primer

How's the household food budget these days? How's the spare time? Need to dress up
inexpensive foods for cheap with something a little more to adult tastes than sugar-laden American ketchup? Help is on the way!

Note: I am not going to review this as a 'steak sauce', partly because I don't think either one has a good steak sauce flavor, and partly because, having just been forced to buy our retirement house without selling the first one and without a mortgage, we're cheapass bastards, and never eat 'nice bits of steak' anymore, as they run $12 - $14 a pound. If we eat steak at all, it's $3.50/lb ribeye or London broil which must be marinated in vinegar and beaten to hell to tenderize it. This stuff needs to be slathered in something really strong, or put into soup.

I bought a bottle of each of the HP Original and Fruity sauces (255 grams or just about 9 oz--a nice round number) at $3.69 each (£2.28 at current exchange rate). Each was plastered with a couple of white labels that are apparently attached to imported goods, probably to certify that they have been rigorously screened and found not to contain bomb making materials. They have not been relabeled for American consumption, as the blurb on the side recommends using them on, among other things, 'jacket potatoes', not 'baked potatoes'. All the stores I called referred to the Original as 'the steak sauce'. Guess they were just assuming it was because it looked like steak sauce, and came in a classic square steak-sauce shaped bottle. That's where I got the reference from. Peasants.

Time for the taste test. These sauces are a bit on the thick side, like some American ketchups. Remember the old rhyme?

Turn it over,
smack the bottle.
None'll come,
and then a lot'll.

No worries--HP is well behaved. Not that the Queen Mum would ever care, as servants would have to struggle with it no matter what. But you do.

Regular: More reminiscent of American barbecue sauces than steak sauces like A1, but better. The use of malt vinegar and tamarind boosts the flavor in an inviting way.

I suppose it could be used as a marinade for roasting, but I think this would cook out the aromatic flavors and leave behind something that may be good, but definitely no longer HP at all. So it's way too expensive to use that way at $3.69 a bottle, I think.

We Yanks love our taters, don't we? And us Midwesterners are taterholics. HP Original on a baked potato is just right. Not sweet or overpoweringly vinegary. I can definitely see it being used on a variety of sandwiches or other dishes, more beef or pork oriented than chicken or fish.

Fruity: A little milder than Original, and the label recommends it for BLTs. Hmmm... I suppose so, but I think the Original would do fine for BLTs also. Either would be a welcome change from the usual mayo. And guess what? It's really good on a baked chicken breast, and on plain cooked rice. Offhand, I can't think of anything I'd rather have on rice other than sauces I make, but who has time to make 'em most days? HP Fruity isn't just a 'settle-for' solution, it's good.

Conclusion: Both varieties are very welcome additions to this Septic kitchen. And guess what, I found out that my local regular supermarket had HP Regular all along, just tucked a bit strangely away from the other sauces. Peasants. The Fruity variety may be a bit harder to find, but is well worth ferreting out.

I agree with SepticTone: don't pay a fortune for them, but I think $3.50 or so a bottle is just fine, and I'm a cheapass bastard.

[SepticTone]

You're even crazier than I thought, dave! LOL.

Doing a review of HP Sauce is wacky in the extreme, but I like it nonetheless.

A 255 gm bottle here costs about a quid, so it's a bit pricey by the time it hits the US. Probably because of the weight of the glass bottle.

You can get it here also in great big upside-down squeezy plastic bottles ( you know the sort) that hold about 3 times a much for about £3.00 at Asda (Walmart) & the like here.

I doubt the Queen Mum'd too upset by its behaviour, btw, as she's been dead nearly 10 years now. Probably as a result of the amount of HP she consumed.

However, she was 101 years old when she finally popped her clogs, so maybe it has hidden health benefits.

HP sauce on rice? I applaud your enthusiasm, dave, but that's taking it a bit far for my taste. I only ever have it on hot bacon sandwiches, steak & kidney pies or corned beef hash.

However if you think it tastes Ok on rice, that's the main thing, isn't it?

A very nice review from a different perspective. Thanks.

To add balance to the brown sauce saga, Daddies Brown Sauce is its main rival here, although a bit difficult to get hold of now since the brand was acquired by Heinz.

However, all sorts of Brit crap food & other stuff can be shipped worldwide from here:

http://www.britsuperstore.com/acatalog/Hp_Sauce.html

where a bottle is £1.37. & a big 4.5 KILO(!) plastic bottle's £ 10.99. God knows how much the shipping is, but you could always get some Crosse & Blackwell Branston pickle with it. Yum.

[davec]

What's so crazy about it? A good product, a good change from what we're used to over here. And any Americans who think they won't be needing to learn how to economize on food cost and prep time are either very well heeled or a bit behind the curve on what's happening in the world. I intend to be a happy, well fed old hillbilly when we move out to our farm for good, and such measures are well in order, along with raising some of our own chow.

I'm familiar with the Crosse and Blackwell label--we have a bottle of their mint sauce in our fridge!! I'll look for the Branston pickle.

We don't use it on meat pies, honest, mainly 'coz we don't have meat pies. Only the occasional lamb chop if we can get them cheaply, which these days looks to be when we start raising them in Indiana.

Addendum: HP's not for pasta. Gets absorbed and lost in a hurry.

[Kate]

Very good! I enjoyed reading it, and I'm highly tempted to do my own review of something.

I did see a new store in town advertising itself as a "European market." I'll have to go check it out (and see if they have my ketchup, for when my current five-year supply runs out).