How Not To Act Like An American (in England)

[Kate]

http://www.anglotopia.net/british-ident ... n-britain/

I thought this list was interesting and very true. I know some of the people I went to England with needed something like this rammed down their throats - although I HAD tried to get them to understand most of these things ahead of time.

[SepticTone]

Having checked out that site, I think, at the risk of being called a Provincial, that most of that advice just applies to Americans visiting London, & even so, is well out of date & a bit demeaning even so.

The stuff about shorts & trainers is rubbish really, as people here wear that all the time, even in winter, including our preposterously overpaid postmen, & anyone carrying an umbrella in case it rains is just a wazzock, or Japanese. What's the worst that can happen? you get a bit wet, right, but you'll soon dry. You simply can't dress worse than the average British person, no matter how hard you try. Believe me: I am one & I live here, & I'm slightly stylish by our standards.

"minicabs" is a purely London term, & non-licensed foreign-run cabs are allowed there & are pretty dodgy, as I've found, but London's a big place & has its own internal laws designed to protect the ultra high charges levied by their black cab drivers, all of whom are scoundrels. Elsewhere in the country, ALL taxi charges are set by law by the local Council & clearly displayed & are fair, & we don't have the London Mafia.

Tipping. Outside London, & especially in the "Provinces", giving extra money for something you've already paid for is simply looked on as ludicrous. Unless the stuff you got seems extraordinarily cheap & good, even by our standards, & you're drunk or just like paying more for stuff where the price has been clearly indicated, in which case, Hell, why not? The recipient will be delighted, no doubt. But it's entirely undeserved, as we have a legal minimum wage of £ 5.80 per hour ($10.00), which is reasonable & not made up of tips. Never tip in a pub, as the other people at the bar/table will just steal it.

A dazzling American smile, a heartfelt thankyou & a nice reserved handshake is all the tip someone proud of their service would want, as observed on the other website, is an appropriate tip, in our view.

Portions of food in the UK are Euro-standard, agreed. Deal with it. Buy the meal twice if you're still hungry, but you'll end up like the fat Sheriff in 'Race with the Devil'.

Outside London, everyone you meet will be delighted to see you & help you, especially if you're standing there puzzling over a map in the street. No tip required. Do not use your IPhones on Googlemaps in public in London, however, as maps are cheap but iPhones are dear. Common sense, really.

I think, finally, the one thing that my acquaintances would agree on, after extensive research vis-vis Americans is: Lower your Voice Volume by approx. 30% when conversing amongst yourselves or in public in Britain. We have fairly good hearing here & only chavs, Liverpudlians & pikeys talk loudly, to compensate for their lack of status.

[davec]

Americans in general are a bit louder than Europeans, and the social status correlation holds here too. Americans that are obnoxiously loud here often have belt buckles as big as their heads and wallets instead of purses. They may also have a pack of cigs rolled up in their T shirt sleeve, James Dean style.

Or else they're Texans. (A little Okie jokie, cb!)

Many Americans get louder than normal when they're upset because it's a natural tendency, and is not countered by good upbringing. Going abroad ill-prepared in all-too-common Yank fashion naturally lends itself to generating upsets. I shudder to think how often some Yank asks a Londoner for a quick refresher course on making change in shillings and pence.

I am myself by nature very soft spoken, and would fit in well in a pub situation. Hell, I was acceptable by Japanese standards when I was in Matsumoto, and they're even quieter than Brits. (They can be loud when drunk, especially the men, but it's a socially acceptable way to blow off steam, so they all do it, not just lager louts.)

[SepticTone]

I can't believe anyone in this century holds a packet of ciggies in their rolled up tshirt sleeve. I simply cannot believe that.

BTW. A wallet is a fold-over piece of rather nice leather which men use to keep their folding money, driving licence & cards in. Which men slide neatly into their jacket pocket or trouser pocket.
A purse is a small fat snap-fastened leather thing with many small compartments in which women keep their money & a stupid amount of low denomination coins & cards in, along with old bus tickets, receipts from the hole in the wall, pictures of their cat, crumpled up bits of wet paper, parking fine notices, & anything else that will make it bulge.

Which they then place in their handbags. Which also contain more bus tickets, broken bits of make-up things, a hairbrush, extra emergency crumpled paper, spare pictures of the cat/ex-boyfriend, emergency tampon, & extra spare bits of paper & lots of fluff.

Start worrying when a British man who is upset with you starts talking even more quietly than normal. That's the time to start reaching for your gun.... Oh Shit!.... you had to leave it at home.

[davec]

Yepper, some still do the cigs-in-sleeves thing, in small town America. Certainly not as often as in the fifties, but still. I've seen women do it too.

Your descriptions of wallet, purse, and handbag are exactly as used here. At least, I think women have emergency tampons in their handbags. I don't do routine stop-and-searches, so I'll chalk that one up as a 'probably'. But many do fill them with enough stuff that just commuting to work and shopping burns a thousand calories an hour. Oh, I forgot to mention, the sort of men and women I'm talking about often have their wallets tethered on a chain attached to their trousers. It's a biker thing originally, an advertisement that the person in question doesn't take kindly to being mucked with, for example trying to steal their wallet.

Many Americans share the quieter-is-not-good behavior, the calm before the storm. I would say generally this is a sign of intelligence. Just flying off the handle is a sign of stupidity. Many Middle Easterners just smile broadly. It means 'please, go ahead, keep talking, make me angrier than I already am so I can really let loose on you...'

[Kate]

Haha - I knew ST would have quite a bit to say about that.

See, when I get angry, I'm a blend between American and European. I start off by getting louder - but then I get quiet. When I'm upset and quiet, I'm about to blow.

Two of my sisters get me upset and quiet quite frequently, but they haven't figured out it precedes a blowup.

I wish American portions were smaller. We could learn some lessons from Europe. Really? You can't figure out why you're morbidly obese? It couldn't possibly be because the standard American portion is about four European portions, or because people are guzzling down gigantic cups of soda, or because movie theaters offer free popcorn refills and people feel that since they paid $9 for a medium popcorn they need to refill it at least three times...okay, stepping off the soapbox. That topic gets me riled up.

And really Dave? I thought I lived just north of Hick Central (I'm about 70 miles from the Arkansas border), but I've never seen anyone carrying cigarettes like that. Then again, maybe I missed it.

And speaking as a female - emergency tampons are quite frequently in our handbags/purses. And mine's usually quite low on the "broken up things" but might have a notebook or often a book. Although I did find a dress sock in it the other day. Couldn't figure that one out.

[davec]

Kate--yes, really. I still see it in the midwest on occasion.

Can't help you on the dress sock thingy. Most women's handbags have so much stuff that some of it probably breeds, and the sock was born in there.

[ontario]

very interesting

[Laurinquë]

I like to consider myself a slightly better educated American when it comes to all things British, but I have had the 'pleasure' to know a few other Americans who really could have used a few of the notes on that list. First of all being the war one. I cannot think of a single occasion on which it is appropriate to mention how America 'saved' Britain in WWII and how for this reason all Brits should bow down to any American they meet on the street. The person in question refused to accept that this might not be true. This person also thought that it was a good idea for Americans to walk about in their hotels with nothing but their pyjamas on. She defended this by saying "You're Americans, you can get away with it". I don't want to be looked down on though, it's bad enough that people judge me as soon as I open my mouth without having to add further insult.

As for volume of speech, I am naturally quiet so I don not think that this was too much of an issue for me personally. I am also very reserved socially, that is to say I don't carry on speaking when no one cares to listen and I don't share the American habit of invading people's personal space by touching them while talking. One thing I would like to know is this though: When is it acceptable to hug someone over there? I met with some British friends of mine and when we said good-bye I felt I should give them the traditional farewell embrace that I would give to my American friends. They didn't seem to think too much of this idea however, even though we had known each other for more than three years. Was that just them and their personal sense of space or is it more of a cultural thing?

By the way, I know of no women who carries pictures of their cat around with them. The fur they leave is more than sufficient to remember them by.

[davec]

I would have said "Nice to know people like you are helping to prepare Brits to meet people like me."
"Bitch."

I realize that starting aggro can get you deported, but the British government really ought to consider making an exception in this case. Really. You should have been allowed to just slap her daffy.

Welcome aboard. It may be a few days before you get any other responses. We haven't been too active lately so I imagine some members aren't logging in every day.