1 n candy: Never take sweets from strangers, or you’ll end up a dismembered corpse, rotting in a ditch like your auntie Jean. 2 n dessert (particularly in restaurants).

n a half pint of beer, had swiftly before departing. Although quite often it’s not really that. You might propose having a swift half with some people after work, when in reality you know that it probably won’t be just one swift half, it’ll be sixteen swift halves like last Wednesday, when Ernie ended up breaking his arm and you had sex with that homeless person.

n 1 take-out food: I think we’re just going to get take-away. 2 take-out restaurant. A hot food retailer (personally I think in this instance “restaurant” is a little too strong) which only sells things that you can take home and eat or stagger down the street drunkenly stuffing in your mouth and distributing down your shirt. Blimey, that tastes good. Damnit, I’ve left my credit card in the pub again. Where are my keys?

n Northern England potato. Not exactly sure how America ended up calling the greasy French-fry derivatives “tater tots.”

n evening meal. At the risk of sounding terrible, it’s just a little “working class.” Maybe that doesn’t sound all that terrible. There are lots of more terrible things I could say. Ask my parole officer.

n coffee-break. A break away from work, ostensibly to have a cup of tea, but perhaps also to have coffee or a sly fag.

an evening spent out drinking. Both Americans and Brits use the term “razzing” to describe teasing someone.

n a demure, civilised drink. Usually of sherry, Martini or some other light spirit measure. You grandmother might acquiesce to a tipple before dinner. My grandmother, as it happens, acquiesced to several tipples before dinner, and a few after.

n a delicacy consisting of sausages in Yorkshire pudding batter, in a sort of pie shape. The etymology is a tough one to guess at, as the dish itself contains no obvious holes and it’s difficult, although not impossible, to confuse sausages and toads.

n tomato ketchup. In the U.K. these two terms are interchangeable although “tomato ketchup” is in more common use, as tomato sauce could equally easily refer to the pasta-type sauce in a jar or can.

n 1 molasses. 2 darling; honey, An affectionate and familiar term of address, not necessarily implying that there’s a sexual relationship going on, but sort of hinting that one might be plausible: Afternoon treacle! Haven’t seen you since that party at Mike’s house.

adj extremely drunk. Perhaps the term came from something to do with ending up in hospital. No idea.

v eat enthusiastically; dig in: Well, come on, tuck in before it gets cold! This is probably related to the term “tuck shop”, which similarly uses the word “tuck”. Also it might not be related at all.

n an evening in the pub celebrating the birth of a new baby. The event generally involves only the father and his mates, whilst the wife sits at home in a state of exhaustion surrounded by fresh nappies: Are you coming out on Friday? We’re wetting the baby’s head down at the Four Coachmen.

n whole-wheat/whole-grain flour. I’ve no idea about food; I hope it’s not apparent. I just type what people tell me like a big unpaid secretary.

n beer with high-alcohol content: Give me a gin and tonic and a pint of wife beater. Brits do not use the American definition of the term (a ribbed, sleeveless undershirt).