n rascal. A young tearaway. A bit of an antiquated term.

adj disgusting. Describing something or someone as skanky would imply that they haven’t been cleaned in quite some time. Brits do not use the word “skank” to refer to a prostitute.

v roll a joint. Most likely derived from the use of the term “skin” to refer to cigarette rolling papers: Do you reckon Cindy’s coming back to work after lunch? / I doubt it, I saw her skinning up in the car.

n the amount of alcohol necessary to make one clearly inebriated. If you have a skinfull at lunch, you’ll be less likely to go back to the office and more likely to see whether you could urinate as high as the top of the “M” in the McDonalds logo.

adj broke. The position of having no money: Dave refused to give me any petrol money – was moaning on the whole time about how skint he was.

n dumpster. It’s odd that something as revolting should develop such a pleasant name. The dumpster was invented by a man called Skip Mandible. This is a lie.

n baseboard. The little wooden bit of edging that goes around the bottom of the walls in your house so that when you stub your toe you don’t put your foot through the plasterboard.

v, n play hookie: We’ve got chemistry this afternoon but I’m just going to skive as I can’t be arsed. Differs from “playing hookie” in that it may also be used as a noun: Our team meetings are basically a complete skive.

1 v -off have a go at; pick on: We gave Charlie a right slagging off when he turned up four hours late and covered in toothpaste. 2 n slut. A woman with very loose morals: I don’t think much of Derek’s bird… Ian thinks she’s a slag.

n bald person: Have you noticed that Charlie’s becoming something of a slaphead? Lucky for him he’s on the tall side.

n slut. Person on the prowl for anything they can get. Anything. The word is applied more often to females, arguably because it is a built-in function of blokes and doesn’t deserve a separate word. Slappers wander around the dance floor looking for the drunkest blokes and then, when they’ve found them, woo them by dancing backwards into them “accidentally.” They are invariably spotted at the end of an evening telling the bouncer how lonely they are and trying to sit on his knee.

v have a- urinate. Its usage is more appropriate to punters in the pub than middle-aged ladies at a Tupperware party.

n railroad tie. The very large blocks of wood which go between the rails and the ground on a section of railway line.

n speed-bump. The name probably derives from a time when narcoleptic policemen were employed to slow down traffic.

n on-ramp/off-ramp. A road that runs parallel to a major one, allowing you to gain or lose speed safely while joining or leaving the main road.

n directionless young upper class twit. Financed only by a trust fund, Sloane Rangers spend their time driving around the affluent areas of London talking about horses, or appearing at the birthday parties of C-list celebrities. The term originates from Sloane Square, an expensive area to live in London. And also from the Lone Ranger, but I suspect you knew that unless you are from the fortieth century and this book was somehow the only thing that survived nuclear Armageddon. Even if you are in that very situation, you’re going to have a hard time working out what the Lone Ranger was without a little more context, so I doubt I’ve helped much. Go on, have a guess.

1 adj well dressed: You’re looking very smart today. Job interview? 2 adj intelligent (universal).

n small sugar-coated chocolate candies, not entirely dissimilar to chocolate M&Ms. Not related at all to the American candy product of the same name, which in the U.K. is known as Fizzers.

adj great. Contrary to appearances, something which is smashing is a good thing rather than a bad one: Mum, I had a smashing time playing football in the park! It may be derived from the Gaelic phrase “is math sin,” which means “that’s good.”

n generic swear word based upon the word “smegma.” Also a popular German kitchen equipment manufacturer, who are no doubt in the process of changing their name. Popularised (and most likely invented) by Rob Naylor, who created the Red Dwarf book and television series.