n soccer. Americans call a different game “football.” It doesn’t require much involvement from feet, and they don’t have a proper ball. Brits call that “American football.” I have a theory about the relative popularities of soccer in the U.K. and American football in the U.S., upon which I shall now expound. In life in general, British people tend to put up with the status quo and keep their fingers crossed, rather than make any conscious effort towards striving for success. Until success lands miraculously upon their doorstep, Brits will pass the time moaning about how difficult their lives are. Americans, on the other hand, like to feel that they’re entirely in control of their own destiny and can shape it in any way they see fit. Americans will go out actively seeking success, and until it arrives they will mercilessly criticise themselves for not trying hard enough to find it. Bear with me, the point is approaching. Soccer is a game with very low scores – it’s not uncommon for a game to end with no scoring at all by either team. American football, on the other hand, has scoring aplenty. The net result of this is that a fairly poor soccer team can win a game just by being a bit lucky. This proves to Brits that success truly is a random thing, and they just need to keep waiting. A bad American football team will never win a game. This proves to Americans that hard work pays off, and that they should continue to better themselves in whatever way they can.