Many of you will remember with fondness my recent post concerning restrooms which contained a urinal and a toilet in the same room with a single lockable door. Several of you were good enough to share with me your own ideas about correct etiquette for such a restroom, and I think it’s fair to say that the majority believed that one should lock the door when using the facility.
Naturally I decided that that should indeed be my own personal policy going forward. The world had spoken.
Imagine my confusion, therefore, when I walked into the restroom in Martin’s Off Madison on Sunday evening and encountered this feast of abomination.
If what we agreed about locking the door is true, why would there be a curtain? Is it in case the person on the toilet is offended by the very sight of a nearby urinal? No, my friends, it is because dual occupancy is the very ethos of this restroom.
Frankly, I didn’t know what to do. There was another chap heading towards the restroom at the same time as I went, and now he was standing outside the door. I’d already locked the door before I noticed this. I broke out in a cold sweat. I could just imagine him standing outside the door cursing. Was I such a little princess that I needed the whole restroom to myself? I turned around. He’d hear it if I unlocked the door now. And what if – well, I mean, what if he thought that – because, well, it’s possible that Martin’s Off Madison is a gay bar. It has a lot of men in tight T-shirts and an old lady playing the piano. Not that gay bars are bad, of course. Although I am not gay. But if I were gay, that wouldn’t be bad. At least, it wouldn’t if I wasn’t already married. To a woman, obviously. Sorry, I mean not obviously. Gay people can get married too. Some of my friends are gay. Well, one of them. Maybe one other one.
Anyway, look, whether you are gay or not, any sort of “I’m ready” signal in the restroom of a gay bar is bad if you’re not willing to go through with it, which wasn’t something I was mentally prepared for. Gay people don’t like being dicked around any more than anyone else. I mean messed. Messed around.
I looked at the toilet, and back at the urinal. Maybe he would be less upset if he thought I’d been having a number two. I waited for a couple of minutes, then flushed the toilet. I noticed that the seat was up, so I put it down. I tried for a few seconds to break wind, without success. I sighed, washed my hands, took a deep breath and opened the door.
The man was still there. He looked me right in the eye and gave me an ambiguous smile. I held the door open and he went in. He did not lock the door.
I realised at that point that I had forgotten to pee. The bar wasn’t busy, and the restroom was in full view of the main seating area – how could I now get back into the restroom without that being a sign?
I turned around and walked back to the table where my wife sat.
“We need to go home now,” I said, simply, “I’ve been let down by the internet”.
What sort of pubs do you go to out there!!!! From what I can see, there are at least two separate pubs with both a toilet and a urinal in the same room. That’s just WRONG. My advice: find a pub with a decent bathroom and make that your regular.
Curtain or not, if there is a lock on the door it is reasonable for you to assume that you have the option of using it.
While “Martin’s off Madison” sounds innocent enough, “The Madison” is one of Seattle’s (many) premier gay bars. It’s about a block away. (Walk north to E. Madison, hang a left.) So as you might expect…
http://www.seattlegayscene.com/2007/07/martins-off-madison.html
“MARTIN’S OFF MADISON, 1413 14th Ave, is a gay restaurant and piano bar with an upscale feel yet casual environment.”
This is why straight people still need to read the Stranger, just like those in the other Washington still need to read the Blade.
I welcome the lock. Given the 1ft gap between floor and wall in us facilities the option to perform in private, whilst still enjoying good air flow brings the best us and uk defacation. In addition as we are not women and can empty the hold without mirror and lipstick, the parralellisation compromise has less impact
I’d assumed that this was a conservation issue. If you need to do number ones then use the urinal, using less water, number twos justifies the use of the bowl thus more water
I laughed when I read Caliban’s comment because the first thing I thought was “gay dudes would probably love that”.
If the door has a lock then use it. The curtain might be there for parent-child dual use or just to try to add a little elegance (good for paper out too hehe).
Well, if I were a man, I would certainly lock the door in this particular restroom. What were they thinking and how cheap can they get? Sheesh!
oh how funny
While everyone is puzzled about having an urinal and a toilet on the same little room, I was puzzled about having a mirror in middle of a curtain. Of course it was clear for me that there would not be any trouble of using the curtain to have some privacy while defecating without depriving the other of using the urinal, but… after having read this all, I still was puzzled about the mirror. A mirror in that place was not really pleasant. It might be aiming something special for being a full body mirror.
After reading more and discovering that the pub belongs to the gay scene then it came the light. All right, now it makes all sense. The toilet is not exclusively used for defecating, it’s quite more like a second urinal. The curtain is for those that do not enjoy looking at the buddy pissing, specifically to his dick, but that’s what the mirror is for. Leaving the curtain a bit casually open will grant good sights for those that enjoy it. And the locker is there to guarantee privacy in case they agree to go further.
Well, as someone said before, you have your right to use the locker, of course. And you had your trustful first impression that something was not right. So, there is no place for explanations or shame. The other guy outside would have to admit you were definitely not on the scene.
But you should have had your piss without worrying about the other guy. Worrying about him is really a bit of something to be concerned now…!
I’ve encountered mens’ rooms like this before, but no curtain. If I’m just going to use the urinal, I don’t bother locking the door in case someone else wants to use the toilet. Most guys are okay with this. Some times, guys will come in and pee in the toilet; other times, they open the door, see me there, and leave (maybe they want to drop a deuce). One time I was at a car wash in Orange County. The urinal was next to the door facing out. I had just started to pee when a guy opened the door. He saw me peeing in the urinal right in front of him and froze in the doorway not knowing what to do. Meanwhile, I’m looking over his shoulder at the cashier who smiled at me. It was funny. I told him to “come in”, so after he got over his initial surprise, he walked over to the toilet and had a pee. He didn’t lock the door either. It’s always humorous to catch people by surprise in a situation that they weren’t expecting.
Apart from this situation my question is that who need the curtain whereas the restroom is only for men. We guys can be manage this situation very easily. However, If you need the curtains, i would like to recommend Velvet Curtain.
Hilarious! Still hilarious even more than the 10th. anniversary of publishing!
But focussing on the date of publishing: is it just a coincidence? Isn’t it sad, is it? Idk.