It’s the small things in life, they say, that make a difference. I drive to work most days, across the lovely Evergreen Point Floating Bridge. I really mean lovely – you usually get a great view of Mount Rainier. Anyway, this means I get to spend a reasonable amount of my time in stop/go freeway traffic, looking at Mount Rainier.
In Europe, like in America, cars are equipped with a special set of rear lights which are intended to show to other road users what the driver is attempting to do. There’s a white one to show that the car is in reverse. There are two, perhaps three large red ones to show that the car is slowing down. And there are two orange ones, one on each side, which employ a time-honoured blinking action to demonstrate that the driver is intending moving in that direction. This system works great.
In America, there is a similar system. Similar, except for the fact that the lights intended to indicate motion are not orange, but red. The sharp-eyed among you may notice that this is the same colour as the brake lights. Perhaps orange is an unsually expensive filter. Perhaps orange was once regarded as unlucky. Still, not to worry. They still blink. Surely anyone who could confuse a single blinking red light with several solid red ones ought not to be on the road in the first place.
This is a reasonably sensible conclusion to draw, until you are furnished with two other pieces of information. First off, Americans primarily drive automatic cars. Automatic cars don’t slow down appreciably when you lift off the accelerator, so you often need to give the brake a little tap when trying to maintain pace with traffic. Or perhaps two or three little taps. This introduces a behaviour not unlike flashing in your brake lights. Secondly, unlike most other countries, America doesn’t require any sort of roadworthiness test alongside its road tax. This means that there are oceans of cars out there with one single operational brake light.
These two facts conspire with the red-only lights to produce an effect which could fairly easily be confused for a turn signal, especially in stop-go traffic. In order to save confusion, I propose that every car is fitted with one large, centrally mounted red light. The light comes on automatically whenever the driver moves the gear lever or steers. Not only will this save money, it will also mean there can never again be a confusing signal. Unless the light is broken.
“Secondly, unlike most other countries, America doesn’t require any sort of roadworthiness test alongside its road tax.”
Uh, yes we do. It’s called DMV inspection. They outsourced it in a few states like California, but you still need to get regular inspections, including for brake lights.
As for the turn lights, there’s a separate white light on each side that blinks only for the turn signal. Which is entirely separate from the red lights. Also, we have the top brake light, to differentiate between having lights on and actually braking.
Maybe you’ve been seeing some very strange cars…
Pam’s got it, but there’s an additional point.
American cars only recently (in the past decade) switched from the amber light standard. The primary reason is to make the car look better: all the lights on the back of the car match. A secondary effect is that the lens on the back of the car can now be manufactured in a single piece, instead of two separate pieces, which makes it cheaper to produce… and therefore, this is unlikely to change.
Hi Chris
I so enjoyed your dictionary I felt compelled to share it from my blog page.
So I suppose you could say I have done a promotion on you!
Brilliant isn’t the word.
Love Granny aka Marian.
… and I have just bought your book. I shall read it with glee.
Love Granny
The book arrived from Amazon this morning, and I look forward to more laughter to share with ears of all and sundry.
Love Granny
It is amazing how local some people’s perspectives are. The author is right in that there is no national mandate for any kind of vehicle inspection in the U.S. As a result, like so many things, the state of inspections varies a great deal from state to state (i.e. California, New Jersey, and Virgina have state inspections; New Mexico and Washington do not). There is nothing new about red turn signal lights in the U.S. (a 1969 VW Beetle manufactured for the U.S. market has red turn signal lenses), both amber and red are permitted (this craziness of people having white turn signal lights is probably illegal in most states). I am not sure that the author isn’t joshing a bit as it has been more than a decade that new cars have been required to have a middle brake light.
I agree with Chris in that the amber/red, brake/turn signal thing probably will confuse drivers not familiar with American craziness. My favorite gripe (2 actually) are drivers of stick shifts who use thier clutch to slow down, thus no brake lights show and you almost plough into them. My next favorite gripe is that, despite its not-to-be-missed location on the steering column, lots of people don’t bother to use their turn signals, requiring a certain degree of clairvoyance on the part of fellow travellers.
New Mexico used to have vehicle inspections, when I was younger. We would go into a filling station and a guy would come out, see that the windshield wipers worked, the windshield wasn’t cracked, the headlights worked (high beams and low), that the turn signals and brake lights worked. He would himself test the brakes usually. Then they’d put a see-through sticker the shape of the outline of the state in the corner of the front windshield.
Now we have to have our cars tested for emissions in Albuquerque Bernalillo County, rather), but I don’t think it’s required in the rest of the state.
As others have mentioned, some US states do have inspection laws. I live in New York and for the most part on the major express and parkways, yes most adhere to the inspection. Get further into the actual cities, towns, villages, etc. and you will definitely see many autos that not only couldn’t pass an inspection, but are freakishly continuing to be operable! Just looking at some autos one has to wonder why they don’t get a citation – is law enforcement blind or simply not care? In my residential area, it is not uncommon for the police to drive down the streets looking for expired inspection stickers.
Nonetheless, the key issue when driving is if you see the red lights come on, flicker, whatever…take note and slow down!
My personal pet peeve (only slightly related to this post) is with how these turn signals are typically used here in America:
As someone above commented, many people don’t use them at all. This usually leaves me talking to them (as if they could hear me with all my windows up), “Too bad your shiny new car has broken turn signals…idiot”.
But I what I find especially interesting (ok, frustrating) about turn signal behavior is this:
When they actually get used, drivers do it more out of ritual than for the intended purpose, which is to inform nearby drivers they are about to make a lane change or turn off the current road.
So here is the part that truly bewilders me: many people do this *after* they’ve already started making the lane change, or *while* they are turning off the current road.
This defeats the intended purpose of the darn thing. Letting me know you’re turning or changing lanes *before* you actually do it allows me to adjust my speed and/or course appropriately. Doing it *during* or *after* you’ve begun this maneuver is obviously useless (and leads to accidents with–or because of–these morons), so why do it at all?
Hmmm…come to think of it, I think the reason why some people don’t bother is that by the time their tiny little conscious brains (currently overloaded by driving (badly), not watching the road, listening to the radio, texting on their cell phone, and fattening themselves up with a McDonald’s Super-Calorie-Size burger, fries, and fatshake) realize they’re coming up to where they want to make such a maneuver, their self-important (me, Me, ME!) subconscious little brains have already steered the car.
Idiots.
thus the reason for keeping 1 car length for each 10 mph behind the vehicle in front of you and keeping your eyes on the road and traffic, what annoys me is peole who think that 3 or 4 car lengths between me and the vehicle ahead of me is an opportunity to cut in, and worse, people behind me who change lanes to pass me ‘AFTER’ I have put on my turn signal to change lanes. I try to be courteous to others on the road, letting someone into or out of traffic ahead of me, keeping distance, etc. because I appreciate when others are likewise considerate. Most of the time the idiots cutting in front of me to get that 1 car length closer to where they’re going, speeding through traffic, only accomplish one thing, beating me to the next redlight,
It is amazing how local some people’s perspectives are. The author is right in that there is no national mandate for any kind of vehicle inspection in the U.S. As a result, like so many things, the state of inspections varies a great deal from state to state (i.e. California, New Jersey, and Virgina have state inspections; New Mexico and Washington do not). There is nothing new about red turn signal lights in the U.S. (a 1969 VW Beetle manufactured for the U.S. market has red turn signal lenses), both amber and red are permitted (this craziness of people having white turn signal lights is probably illegal in most states). I am not sure that the author isn’t joshing a bit as it has been more than a decade that new cars have been required to have a middle brake light.
Very amusing. I came across this while trying to find out what Americans call indicators, the nearest I’ve found is “turn signal lights”.
Adrian – thank you for clearing that up for me! A “turn signal” what the…?! It’s an indicator to indicate your intent to move. Turn signal made me think you meant hazard warnings! (I’m afraid to ask what you call them…)
Lindy, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK.
Lindy – we Yanks call “hazard warnings” “give it the beans & get through as fast as you can”. Yes I’ve been watching ENtirely too much TopGear (UK)
🙂
Note – a Yank is an American (well part of N America) … a Yankee is the northern subspecies, a Damnyankee is one who wants to marry your sister (see “Gone With the Wind” for more details)